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  • Saba Al-Mahadin

Why Fear Matters

Updated: Jan 14



A friend of mine once asked me: what is your biggest fear? and I said: I fear the moment I stop enjoying my own company. I have never contemplated such question before nor the answer for that matter simply because I am not a fearful type of person.  I believe in the beauty of the unknown and as a person who hates routine, change to me is far easier than feeling trapped or unfulfilled. I tend to always take my own “self” to unfamiliar territories and talk to it about everything; we laugh, we blame, we cheer, we sometimes even detach because I feel that being me at times is a lot of work and it just pushes all my buttons so I let the “self” be and I let “me” be.


In life, every emotion is either a personal choice or an obligation.  In any case, we feel that each feeling validates the experience, the encounter, and the context. Also, it gives permission to our perceptions, opinions and reactions to exist and on top of that to be justified.


As we get older, fear remains present in its power but changes in concept. Everything in life makes us fearful; falling in love, closing our first big deal, or even choosing a dream house because instead of enjoying the moment, we start our doubting and questioning journey of what comes next; have I made the right choice? Should I have waited a bit longer? Could I change my mind? till we are consumed emotionally, mentally and physically, and yet, we still dare to blame it on “fear” and not on our mere ignorance and indifference towards the goodness in life.  


It is us who is burdening the fear with our confusion; we love growing up but we fear growing old, we enjoy new experiences but we dread new lessons, and we seek new encounters but we yearn for old memories. Therefore, to understand fear and embrace it wholeheartedly and effectively, we ought to avoid:


  • Going around blaming the circle because it is not vicious; it simply has no perspective.

  • Running fast blaming the steep because the never-ending is not never; it simply has no intention.

  • Crawling slowly blaming the surface because the ever-lasting is not ever; it simply has no ticking.

Fear as an emotion is valid and we all need to feel fearful at some point in our lives but be fearful of the things that matter to you; not pursuing your dream, not listening to your silence, or not loving yourself enough. With fear, we teach our mind how to be conscious, our senses how to be alert and our soul how to be resilient. In other words, fear is here to create us, shape us and revive us when all we have left is a fear that has no purpose, no cause and no direction.


@stainedtwistsbysaba

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